I was recently working with a client who told me that the harder she tried to get something done, the more it seemed she would run into walls. One example was trying to get something to work on her television. But when she finally let go of expectation and frustration, she pressed a button and voila—this time it worked. There are so many examples of when we get in our own way and—surprise, surprise—most of the time it’s related to our thoughts, mindset or the way we are approaching the situation. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, frustrated, angry or hopeless when working on a task. Trust me—you are not alone! I have coached hundreds of people around these types of things. I’ve also learned a few tips about getting out of your own way that I want to share with you.

• Stop forcing it. The more we force something, the more resistance we will feel. There is a natural ebb and flow, almost like a current. Think of a river that has a natural flow to it. When something is forced—i.e. a rock or a dam—it’s just not as smooth. Relax into the situation. Breathe. Take a step back. Trust the process.

• Be fully present. Oftentimes when we are trying to do the task, we are also trying to do other tasks. In case you didn’t get the memo, multi tasking doesn’t really work. We are less effective at each of the individual tasks when we try and do this. By being fully present, we are more aware of all of our senses and we will be more efficient and effective. We will also notice what is going on and maybe, just maybe, the solution or answer is right there and has been all along.

• Acceptance. Sometimes we need to accept what the status of the situation is right now. Acceptance brings grace. It opens our mind. It provides new space.

• Time. There are many examples where time and space have been just what the doctor ordered. This could be because we need more information or maybe we have simply gotten our mind so crowded that we aren’t seeing the tree through the forest. Time provides an opportunity for a fresh look at something. A calmer mind. Eyes to see. Ears to hear. 

• Trust. Trusting the process is key. When we trust ourselves and trust the process, we know that whatever is happening is part of a bigger process. When we trust this bigger process, we can remove ourselves out of the way and know that the impact and scope has larger context. It’s not about us. It’s about the larger scope. Community. Humanity. All the things.

I hope these five tips have been useful to you for getting out of your own way. I’d love to hear which of these you’ve tried and which one might be new to you. By the way, I constantly find myself having to get out of my own way. Our desire to control and be “perfect” can really wreak havoc on the mind. I use these five tips often so feel free to use them over and over. And when all else fails, remember to take a deep breath and let go. You got this!