I believe everyone has, to some degree, an unfinished conversation they need to address—perhaps an unresolved conflict, a misunderstanding with someone, a broken relationship. Recently, through hearing a friend’s experience, I realized the incredible gift and power that exists within a healing conversation.

My friend had done something wrong. In the course of making a bad decision, there were consequences involving the law. Consider that we now have two individuals in the conversation—my friend and the law enforcement officer. We are all human and it was a little tense in the scenario, so it’s probably safe to say that there were behaviors in this situation that both individuals would probably change if they could rewind the time.

Fast-forward a year later. My friend unexpectedly ran into the officer. After the awkward silence, my friend began to acknowledge some things from their encounter. The officer then started acknowledging some things. By the time the conversation was done, there was forgiveness, laughter—even a handshake. 

Too often, shame and guilt can get in the way of resolution. They can also get in the way of us showing up in our brilliance. Many times, we hold things in. We start making up all these things that we assume others are thinking. We avoid instead of having the conversations. We post on social media “hoping” that the message will get through.

What if we shifted the paradigm? What if we got intentional about having healing conversations? Here’s what I’ve learned from the last 20 years of being in the coaching space:

• Humbleness, humility and honesty go a long way in creating a safe and open space. When people feel safe, they can begin to heal.

• Forgiveness goes a long way to healing ourselves, others and humanity. Often, it’s harder to forgive ourselves than other people.

• Having someone bear witness to this process matters.

• Healing conversations don’t just affect one person—they affect the people having the conversation, as well as the people around them. 

I completely understand that some conversations may never happen. I have one situation in my life where the individual has passed away. Sometimes, it’s about you finding a way to process and release on your own. I believe there is this intuitive sense around what is needed for healing. I also believe that we need to trust the process. In some cases, as with my friend, the opportunity was all of a sudden right there.

As my friend finished sharing his experience, I asked, was the conversation healing? Absolutely, he said. Not only healing, but transformative on so many levels. That, my friends, is what inspired this blog post. There IS power in a healing conversation. There is FREEDOM from a healing conversation. Healing conversations matter. I invite you to more powerful, healing conversations in your life.