Last October, I reached a frustration with our world that I haven’t experienced for quite some time. This frustration started showing up in my thoughts and even some of my behaviors. Here are a few of the things I caught myself thinking/saying:

• What is “wrong” with that person? 
• That person is being so rude. 
• Did you notice the way that person just treated the other person?
• Can anyone have a decent conversation anymore?

My thoughts included judgment, cynicism, making someone “wrong,” lack of trust, lack of belief and downright irritability. And yes, frustration. I’m voting that this place is not very productive—and yet, there is a way it serves us. Read on.

Frustration takes on an interesting impact for us. When we are in a place of frustration, the dominant brain chemicals are adrenalin, cortisol and dopamine (in specific ways as it relates to interest in achieving highest status—think competition-type behavior here).  There are also some other inflammatory agents getting involved. Frustration is also known as the fight mode. This is the, I’m right, you’re wrong place. One concerning impact for individuals who stay in this place a lot is the impact on health that researchers are exploring. This includes a depletion of the adrenal glands, inflammation in the body and possibly an impact to heart health. Is any of this sounding familiar to you?

Is there any good news around this, Deb?

I’m glad you asked! There is good news. Because of the highly active dominant brain chemicals and a few other body things happening, this place of frustration can actually propel us towards courage to take action and do something. Let’s name it as courage so we have context around it. 

In the initial move to courage, there can be some inconsistency. In fact, we may feel like a teeter-totter, going back and forth between frustration and courage, until we continue grounding and embracing what is available to us beyond frustration—things like engagement, innovation, and synchronicity. In this place of courage, we also have oxytocin starting to kick in, which helps our brain start to balance the chemicals. It may not be a reliable balance yet, but we are on the track.

What are some questions we can ask ourselves to explore and embrace this place of courage?

• What could I try?
• What might be possible?
• What risk could I take?

The next time you find yourself frustrated, I invite you to try on the place of courage and ask yourself those questions. Once you identify something that feels right to try, try it. Notice what happens. One thing that emerged from my frustration was the Infusing JOY Into Humanity videos I did throughout the month of December. You may have seen one or two (or all) of them. I made a decision to create something that moved me forward and also had impact for others.

I’m excited to hear from you on this topic. It’s a big one. 

Oh, and in case you are wondering if I’m some type of researcher or scientist, let’s just say, no, I’m not. But I take a lot of training and read a lot of books and I’m certified as a CNTC-Certified Neurotransformational Coach. A lot of big words to let you know that I integrate skills/tools in my coaching practice that incorporate what we know about the brain, why we make the decisions we do, how to get out of stuck, etc. Feel free to schedule a session with me if you are looking for tools to understand and move past your own frustration or fear.