For as long as I can remember, I’ve asked questions. Lots of them—to the point of driving everyone around me crazy. Here are just a few of them that come to mind:

• Why is the sky blue?
• Is Santa Claus real?
• Why does poop look so different each day?
• Does God really exist?
• Is “true love” a real thing?
• Why are some people so driven?
• Why is someone lazy?
• Why can’t we all just get along?
• When is it OK to break a rule?

Even as I read over the list, I realize that it took awhile to get answers to some of these things and there are some that I’m not really sure I have the answers to yet. Along with this comes the realization that it’s ok.

We don’t have to have all the answers.

I invite you to read the statement over again and maybe even put it into the first person.

I don’t have to have all the answers.

Oh…even as I speak it out loud, the part of me that wants to control things or “be right” about something is getting annoyed and frustrated. The little kid in me is having a temper tantrum, saying “but I WANT to have all the answers.”

Even though I have a lot of life to live, I have learned that there are really, truly only certain answers we absolutely, positively need (yes, I’m voting here). The obvious answers we need are things like: what time should I pick you up? Do I need to stop at the grocery store? You get the idea. The basic ones.

But we often get caught up in this trap: if only I had the answer to this question (fill in the blank here), everything would be just fine or I could move forward or (pick your what would happen if you had the answer). Friends, it’s a trap. It’s a trap designed to pull you off course, distract you, waste your valuable time and fool you into believing you HAVE to have that answer in order to get on with your life. Don’t get sucked in!

I’m inviting you to consider using these strategies instead:

• Explore what the possibilities are without knowing the answer. Chances are there are multiple options for you. Take a step back and look at what options you have without knowing the answer.

• Ask yourself what you do know. I know… (and then fill in the blank). Once you get clear about what you do know, you can choose where to put your focus. I’m voting that you know more than you realize.

• Get clear about the emotions surrounding the situation. What’s important about having the answer? What are the emotions you are experiencing? Naming the emotions will help you get clarity about the impact this is having and why it’s having that impact.

• Journal about what it looks like to move on from the situation without having all the answers. It may even be taking a moment to “sit with” the uncomfortable feeling for a moment. What needs to be let go? What permission do you want to give yourself?

Friends, life can be complicated. There is so much noise going on around us all the time. We have competing thoughts, conversations, and actions around us all the time. Paying attention to the conversation we are having in our head is REALLY important. What you choose to empower and where you choose to put your focus will make all the difference.