I was recently having coffee with a friend. As she went through all of the things going on in her life, my friend put her head in her hands and said, Deb, it’s just…it’s just, my give a darn’s busted. Ok—let’s be real. The language was stronger than that, but hey—I know my parents read these blogs!

I thought of this phase of life, my and I are in right now. There are the complex realities of kids leaving home for the first time, parents aging, inflation, time constraints. And oh yeah—there’s that thing called “post-pandemic recovery.” To say that this is stressful is an understatement. How can we have time to care for one more thing when we are already stressed beyond belief?

It’s not just our demographic. I watched a mom of three in a coffee shop trying to manage a dirty diaper, active toddler and pre-school age child who had a very inquisitive mind. This was, of course, after she had opened her wallet only to discover someone (presumably her husband as she stated with rolled eyes) had gotten in there to take her last 20.  All of us moms, of course, rushed to the scene with wallets open, listening ears and to, quite frankly, give her a break. At some point, she looked at me and said, “I don’t even know what I care about anymore. It’s just.too.much!” Her give a darn was also busted.

I see workers who are exhausted. Many of them are working three, even four jobs to make ends meet. The ones who work hard are often carrying the load for others who think just being there deserves great money and benefits. While I can see them smiling, often through tired eyes and a worn smile, I get the real story after asking a couple questions. Their give a darn is busted and yet, they muddle through to pay the bills.

Friends, we are in a crisis and many don’t even know it. Many people are walking in a state of not even caring anymore. Going through the motions. Not using critical thinking skills. Robot-like actions. Lack of empathy. Lack of compassion. Yes, quite simply, the give a darn is busted.

What can we do about it?

I believe that we can create FROM the give a darn being busted. Instead of avoiding it altogether, let’s create from it. I came up with a few thoughts using the word ARISE.

A—Awareness. I invite us to be aware of what is really happening. 

R—Rest. I believe we have continued to power through without rest and it has caught up with us. Rest doesn’t necessarily mean sleep, although my guess is we could all use a little more of that, too. Rest is time relaxing, doing things we enjoy. Creating space for journaling, meditation, prayer, writing…these can all be things related to rest.

I—Invite connection and curiosity. Connection with the right people makes all the difference. Curiosity about what is happening in your life and others brings creativity. Creativity brings solutions, inspiration and a sense of movement.

S—Set boundaries. I believe boundary setting is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves right now. What am I saying yes to and what am I saying no to? What are the things I’m allowing in that are not mine to deal with in the first place?

E—Example. Be the example you want to see in the world. It starts with each of us. We can inspire others by our example.

I hope this has been useful for you today. I don’t want my give a darn to be busted. I want to look at what feels busted and create from it. I want to ARISE! How about you?