As Fall sets in there are a few obvious things happening. School has started. Football season is here. Depending on the year, election campaigns are going like crazy and Christmas décor is already going up even though it’s not even Halloween yet. For whatever reason, this Fall I have been reminded of 9^th grade. It was a year of many transitions and heartache, but also a time when I built my belief and confidence in self to new levels.

Up until 8^th grade, I had gone to a private school. I think there were 13-14 kids in my 8^th grade class. We all knew each other and each other’s families and it really was a place to grow academically and spiritually. In 9^th grade, I moved to the junior high school and our nice little group from private school pretty much went our own ways. At my new school, there were A LOT of kids and so many activities to get involved in. I quickly learned that I should build on my skills and talents. Music was high on the list, so I got involved in choir. It not only helped build my confidence, but also belief that I could do things, especially when I was given the part of Pinocchio in the school musical.

It wasn’t always pretty, however. I also wanted to be a cheerleader. I had been part of both the cheerleading squad and drill team at the private school. While I couldn’t do the flips and twirls, I could do the splits, I had a loud voice, I could easily make up new cheers and I was accurate. I had a great cheerleading tryout at my new school and… I did not make the cut. 

I was devastated. Not just that I didn’t make it, but because I had seen the poor tryouts of some of the girls who did get in. The next day, one of the cheerleading advisors told me I had an excellent tryout and that I should not doubt that I was good enough to be part of the squad. This is when I learned an important lesson: sometimes there are politics involved in things. I can see it so clearly now. At the time, however, my fairness core value was stepped on in a big way. What I also realized is that all that cheering may not have helped my singing voice, so it was ok. I also realized that my belief in self and my confidence was not dependent on what someone else thinks.

President Reagan was coming through Great Falls, Montana for a visit. I also happened to be a very active Girl Scout. I was asked to stand behind him, in full uniform, during his talk. Whether or not you are a Reagan fan, being asked to stand behind the President of the United States was an incredible honor. How many 9^th graders are willing to proudly stand in their Girl Scout uniform on stage behind the President? My belief and confidence soared with this experience.

Speaking of Girl Scouts, as you may know, we sell amazing cookies each year. Back in the 9^th grade time frame they were either $2 or $2.50 a box (those were the days!) I had a goal of earning money towards some opportunities, so I brought my cookie order sheet to school and in uniform one day, I sold cookies. A LOT of cookies. 

Some students laughed at me in my uniform and cracked jokes. I did not care. I had goals. I had dreams. I believed in myself. What others think of me is none of my business. Full speed ahead. I think I sold almost 500 boxes of cookies that year and earned a lot of money that I put towards travel. Eventually, I earned not only my Silver Award but also my Gold Award, which is the equivalent of the Boy Scout Eagle Award.

The last big piece from 9^th grade comes with a twinge of pain. Two girls who I had previously considered to be my best friends made a cassette tape that had all these horrible things about me and then mocked things I would say. It was absolutely horrible. I did not want to give them the satisfaction of knowing how much pain and tears this caused me. In today’s world, we would call this bullying. I played the tape for my mom. She was mortified that someone would do such a thing. The worst thing I did was play that tape over and over. I was literally taking myself further and further below the line, until one day I realized it was affecting my confidence. I was losing belief in who I was. I knew I was a good person. I finally destroyed the tape. I’m happy to let you know that I have forgiven these two individuals and we are now friends again. The past is the past and sometimes things we do as teenagers don’t make sense. Jealousy, pride, ego, comparison and all the things can really get in the way.

Of course, I’m not just reminiscing and visiting the past. Here are the key takeaways I want you to capture from today’s blog:

• What others think of us is none of our business. People have opinions. People judge. People vote. If you are constantly listening to “the noise,” you can lose yourself pretty quickly.
• Our core values and identity will drive us forward. Know who you are. Know what’s important to you. Stand in who you are.
• Have a supportive circle. Always. These are YOUR cheerleaders. The people who remind you of your brilliance. They are GOLD.
• Take time daily to continue building your core being—prayer, meditation, journal…these are all great tools for this.
• Sometimes something we don’t get turns out to be a good thing.
• Goals and dreams matter. Visualize. Write them down. Stay focused.
• If you get off course, get back on. You can CHOOSE your next step!
• Comparison, jealousy, ego, pride, doubt, fear…they take away JOY and spread lies about who you are. You are created for greatness and you matter!
• I believe in you—that’s why I wanted to share this with you!

What is one thing you can capture from this list to increase your belief and confidence?