There are two things that have really caught my attention the past two years—pickleball and the challenge humanity seems to have with being kind. What do pickleball and being kind have to do with one another? I’m glad you asked. I invite you to a place of curiosity and maybe even some fun with a serious conversation.

I had a full day of clients a week ago, and over and over the topic of kindness came up—the ability (or inability) of the clients to be kind to themselves. About half of those clients took the inability to be kind to themselves out on other people. The other half were more kind to others than they were to themselves.

Wounded people wound others. Everything starts with us—healing, awareness, acceptance and more. Is it also possible that both can happen at the same time—healing others while also healing ourselves? Yes, absolutely!

A day after having these kindness chats with clients, one of my friends told me about going to play pickleball. She is fairly new at the game and loves it. A new passion has been ignited. Hmmm…I thought to myself. What if there was such a thing as playing kind ball? And thus, this blog emerged.

Playing kind ball begins with being kind to ourselves so we can play nicely with others. Here are some “pre-game” tips:

• Move into a “no judging” zone. Imagine what becomes possible when you stop judging others and stop judging yourself.
• Invite curiosity into the process.
• Replace expectations with appreciation and gratitude for the experience.

Now it’s time to play ball. There are four key pieces I see in kind ball:

B: Believe in yourself. You are brilliant and wonderfully created. You are unique. You have purpose. There is no other you in the world. Embrace, celebrate and see the glorious you.

A: Accept yourself. No, you are not perfect (news flash for some). No one on this Earth is. When you accept all of your imperfection, it brings forth vulnerability, humility, humbleness…and I dare say this connects you with all of humanity.

L: Laugh a little. Humor builds neuroplasticity. It helps our parasympathetic nervous system. It connects us with others. It helps us see ourselves in a different light. Yes, there may be a time for serious kind ball—and I also believe some of the best games are kids and adults laughing on a field or in a court, simply loving what they are doing.
L: Love yourself. This may sound like a big feat to some. I invite you to start by writing down one thing you love about yourself. Notice the things you love in your way of being—your core values, the way you show up in the world. We are called to love one another. Loving others starts with loving ourselves and sometimes loving others brings us to a place where we can love ourselves.

Friends: we are at such a critical time. Our humanity is at stake. Our belief in ourselves and in others seems to be at an all-time low. This directly impacts the kindness we are showing ourselves and others. I invite you to a game of kind ball. Are you ready to play?