I recently had a horrible customer service experience while on vacation. 

Our family ordered groceries that were to be delivered to our hotel. As the order was getting processed, I received text messages regarding items that either weren’t in stock or that brand wasn’t there. Each time, I sent back a suggested replacement. When the delivery person arrived six minutes early, my phone was ringing every 15 seconds. I explained that I was told a specific time and was on my way through the hotel. I still arrived at the door earlier than the time I had been originally told, but this individual was upset that I was “late.” 

I wasn’t late at all. In fact, I was early. In addition, there were FIVE items missing from my list. Plus, one of the substitutes was something she chose to make (not the one I suggested) and was way out in left field. Frustrated is an understatement. 

When I got back to the room, I contacted customer service. It was an online chat. When I told them all the items we were short, including three lemons and two limes, the responder said, are you referring to the 7-Up lemon lime drink? No, I said, I’m referring to the three lemons and two limes that aren’t here. He then said, Are you referring to the Lemon-Lime Gatorade? No, I said. I’m referring to the three lemons and two limes. You can imagine my frustration at this point. I didn’t even get to the missing peanut butter, sunflower butter, etc. The online chat told me they were resending my receipt. When this happened, the chat disappeared. I didn’t bother getting it started again. What was the point?

My level of frustration in this moment was incredibly high. I had arrived on vacation craving rest and relaxation. Instead, I was dealing with what seemed to be complete incompetence. Now, I believe I had every right to be frustrated and should have received better customer service. I also believe that I had a choice to make in this moment. Would I choose to transform a situation and be a light or would I transmit my stress into the world? 

I also had a recent experience on the phone where someone was clearly activated and incredibly insecure about something. This insecurity was coming off in a “transmitting” type of energy—all the wounds were coming through loud and clear. Rather than this having an opportunity to be a transforming experience, I walked away feeling dismissed, devalued and quite frankly, really demotivated.

Bottom Line: What has not been transformed will be transmitted. Healing matters.

I believe that every interaction and conversation matters. We truly do have the ability to shift energy, perspective and emotions. I also believe that when we do our own work, process our own emotions, have empathy and get clear on what matters, we not only transform, we also have the ability to be a part of transforming others. When we have our own wounds and high stress levels showing their faces, we become transmitters. It’s that negative energy. It’s often that time when we think, gee I wish I wouldn’t have said that a certain way or maybe we have regrets about the way the conversation went.

I’ve learned three key tips to make my interactions more transformational:

1. I need to be doing my own work. Self-Care, Self-Compassion, filling my bucket. Going to a coach or therapist if necessary to make sure I am working through my own “stuff.”
2. It’s ok to take a pause. Step back, even in the middle of a conversation, to say Let me check in. Where are we? This conversation matters.
3. Listen to understand. Activate empathy. Engage curiosity. 

I’m curious to learn more from you. When you have experienced transformation in your own life? When have you experienced transforming interactions? When have you experienced transmitting interactions? What do you notice about the impact of each? What is your most important take away from today’s blog?

Keep SHINING in Your Brilliance!