Recently, one of my clients was struggling to release tasks to others, both in the office and at home. Even though there were perfectly capable family members to help with laundry, cleaning, meal prep and more, there was this sense of, I need to do it myself. Let’s get real here. This is a conversation that takes place in at least 75% of the clients I help.

We can probably boil it down into a few key concepts:

• Control. Let’s face it. Most people want to be “in control.” We can probably grab some insight into the fact that it’s really a perception of control, not complete control.

• No One Can Do It Better Than I Can. I can almost hear Jim Carey saying “Oh Really…” to that one. Is it about doing it better or doing it the way YOU think it should be done. Yes, there are certain things that are black and white. And yet the majority of the time, this concept is applied to even the most everyday task—wrapping a present, cooking eggs…you get the idea.

• It Won’t Get Done-i.e. Not Trusting. This one can be a little tricky. If someone has shown in the past that they didn’t get it done, there may be a new conversation that takes place. The majority of the time it will get done. It may not be YOUR timeline and maybe there needs to be an alliance around trusting teammates and family members.

As you read these, I want to offer another insight. There is a COST to not giving up these tasks or trusting others. We get caught up in the control and then we drive ourselves into constant chaos, never having enough time. Ultimately we burn out—and then NOTHING gets done anyway. We are constantly behind, playing catch up. In this scenario, we aren’t giving our best to anyone or anything.

What if we gave up control? What if we gave up the need to have everything done “our” way? What if we gave up something needing to be perfect (whatever perfect is)? 

Friends, when we give up these things, we can give more. Here are a few of the mores I see:

• Full presence with friends, family and co-workers
• Time to breathe
• Self-care & self-compassion
• Creativity
• Space
• Trust
• Belief
• Add your own in here!

I don’t know about you, but for me, these are the types of giving more that I not only want for myself, but also for others. Where are the places in your life where giving up (letting go) means giving more? I’d love to hear about them.

Keep SHINING in Your Brilliance!