I was recently working with a client who is navigating a lot of complexity. Her mother just had a stroke and lives several hours away. Her brother has no income, no motivation and, quite frankly, has “lived off of” every family member and the system (client’s words, not mine). Then there was her job layoff due to a widespread force “correction,” as it was put to her. Top this off with one kid still at home, another in college (the tuition!) and of course managing a home, marriage and oh yes, herself.

In the latest session, the client said, “I guess I’m just at that age.”

This got me to thinking about “that age.” I’m kind of in “that age” category. This is a time of navigating a busy career, aging parents, kids entering adulthood, and probably a zillion house projects—because now the house is 20-25 years old and we’ve also accumulated a lot of stuff.

The reality is that different stages in life have things that can identify it. Graduating from high school means leaving childhood behind and entering adulthood. If we choose to marry, a family, a career…these also define aspects of our lives. What about our late 70’s and 80’s? Trust me when I say, it is a completely different stage. There is focus on legacy, care of family, medical appointments. It really is “a thing.”

These transitions don’t just affect us physically, they affect us emotionally. Many times, we avoid the emotion and we just keep moving forward. We don’t always embrace what is right here, right now because we’re too busy worried about the future or we are focused on the past because we don’t accept our current situation. We can easily get caught up in this cycle.

I thought it might be useful to identify some ways that I’ve learned to navigate and embrace what is right here and enjoy this “certain age” I’m in right now.

1. Be fully present. If you have time with people, be with them. Maybe checking the phone at the door or deeply listening in conversations would be useful as you embrace the experience right here, right now.
2. Practice gratitude. What are you grateful for today? This week? This month? What are the gifts you are experiencing?
3. Journal your emotions. What are the emotions you are experiencing? Write, paint, create something that helps you process your emotion.
4. Take time for you. It’s so important to make sure you are caring for yourself. Investing time for self-care matters.
5. Set Boundaries. It’s ok to set boundaries. You cannot be everything to everyone. Setting boundaries helps create a healthy environment and also helps manage expectations.

I would love to hear about the ways you are navigating the “certain age” that you are in right now. What have you found useful? Where are the biggest struggles? Let’s start a conversation.