There is something that often shows up in my life, something we all deal with and experience. I call it the BIG C. Yes, the BIG C is my code word for control. When most people think about control, the first image that comes to mind is often someone who has to control every part of a project or make all the decisions. It may even look like a helicopter parent. What I think people often miss is that control looks like a lot of other things, too. In fact, I would offer that ultimately, all roads lead to control.

The last two years have been enough to test anyone’s patience. How many times did you finally turn off the news simply to find some peace in your life? You were controlling what you were allowing into your space. Yes, it was a choice and a boundary—and it was also control. During this same time frame, how much did we normalize staying home and isolating? Once again, we were controlling who we were around and how much interaction we had with people.

Have you ever dated someone where you just knew they were going to break up with you? Did you break it off first just to have control over the situation? Or how about a work project? If we can control the decision, the outcome—the list goes on and on—we have a sense of control over our emotions. 

Do we really have control?  What is the stake of trying to control everything?

In many ways, the more we try and control, the less we are really in control because we haven’t learned to be with people, situations, outcomes and more. We are so busy trying to control that we’ve lost the art of being and often miss the experiences within the journey. What are we really avoiding and what do we fear?

There is a gift in releasing the need to control. Expectations shift. Relationships shift. Opportunities open up. New conversations take place. I would also vote that there is peace. Not just a little peace. A lot of peace. I don’t know about you, but I know I could use a lot more peace in my life. And yes, there is a direct correlation to the BIG C for me. 

But I could sit here and make a case that even the road to peace has a certain amount of control because choosing to be in that place most likely means controlling things in my life with the decisions I make. Ultimately, it’s the choice about what we are controlling to make sure the roads we travel are the ones we want to travel. For me, it’s about the roads to peace and love. 

What roads are you traveling today and where are they leading you? What do you need to “control” in order to get there.